Drew. 18. Dokha. Camel Blue. SoCo & Coke. Belhaven Best. Photography. Dubstep. Ska. Classic Rock. Lancia. Alfa Romeo. Cooking. History. Philology. Linguistics. Twitter. Friends. Guillermo del Toro. Stanley Kubrick. Quentin Tarantino. Daniel Bruhl. Accordions. Banjos. Arabic. Spanish. George Orwell. Marina Lewyka. Philip Pullman.
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness...
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in America: cannibal eats man's face
(Source: elilennaold)
(Source: romantically-apocalyptic)
All people do on facebook these days is bitch about the weather and invite you to events you’re not going to attend.
Danielle Rodger
An ‘educated’ opinion on League of Legends
I’ve not posted a rant about some form of media in a while - my fingers have got mighty itchy and as a result, I’m writing this now.
Let me start off by saying that i’m not exactly the greatest gamer. I’ve never possessed that ability to sit for six hours and grind a campaign, it just isn’t me. Then my darling friends pressganged me into playing League of Legends on the basis that I used to play DoTA and it’s similar. Well yes it’s similar because it’s EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME. The maps, the control input (but you can’t really screw around with PC gaming controls, now can you?) and the entire concept is very much the same: just imagine different faces on finger puppets. They’re still puppets in the end, they just look different.
As for the lore, well it’s all a lot of fantasy claptrap. Sure, there’s humans involved, its not all elves and gremlins and shit, but another thing that gets me is the fact that the female characters must have their cleavage out. Says more about the players than the game, if you catch my drift. Nerds, despite their much flaunted intelligence, are obviously fooled into thinking this is something new because there’s boobies on show and the character’s spells are different. Heroes of Newerth, on the other hand, looks like DoTA 1.5, both graphically and with its characters. League of Legends is more of its idiotic little cousin that annoys the fuck out of everyone at family gatherings. To hell with the fact its got a shit-tonne of players - to hell with the fact that the lore, even if the standard fantasy drivel (if you haven’t noticed, I can’t stand the genre) is quite well written. A riveting piece of literature it does not make, but then again, I wonder how many geeks can actually be bothered to sit there and read it. I tried, but I got bored. I read a book a week and I got bored of it - I devour the written word, it’s like smack to me, but I couldn’t be arsed.
The game itself, is actually quite fun. Sure, the fact you can’t pause and have a fag or get a cup of tea or anything annoys me, but I can usually deal with this in games such as Halo or Gears of War, because they last all of 15 minutes. A League of Legends game on the other hand, lasts on average 30 minutes. So yes, it is fun, but it can get a little tiresome. I played before I wrote this, and I plan on trying to get through a gawdawful mission on Prototype, as I vowed myself I must finish the damn thing before I get the new one. So let me finish, as I’ve got some mutants waiting to get flattened into the pavement: League of Legends is fantastic for wasting time - hell, it’s even quite fun. But it’s not that fun for me, nor am I that willing to devote that much time to it that I could say that it’s a fantabulous game. I’ve got shit to do, and so do the developers - the format’s almost a decade old, give it a facelift. Nintendo tried the same and failed miserably, but you’re not some monolithic company that has shareholders to keep happy.
Sort your act out and do something different, and maybe then you’ll entice more than your stereotypical 16 year old nerd.
Submitted by | Anon
(Source: jaidefinichon)
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
Check out their new livery! And have a read about their Customer Relations.Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”
—-o0o—-
On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
——o0o—-
On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”
——o0o—-
“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”
—-o0o—-
“Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
—-o0o—-
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”
—-o0o—-
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”
—-o0o—-
From a Kulula employee: ” Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”
—-o0o—-
“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.”
—-o0o—-
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”
——o0o—-
“Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”
—-o0o—-
“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
—-o0o—-
And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”
—-o0o—-
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”
—-o0o—-
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our
airplane to the gate!”
—-o0o—-
Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
—-o0o—-
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?” “Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?”
—-o0o—-
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal..”
—-o0o—-
Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”
—-o0o—-
Heard on a Kulula flight. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light ‘em, you can smoke ‘em.”
—-o0o—-
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax… OH, MY GOODNESS!” Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!” A passenger then yelled, “That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!”Oh captain, my captain.
I want to fly this plane. Yes, literally, FLY it.
(Source: nichellen)
